Saturday, 30 January 2010

Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Comedy Soundtrack

01. A Whole New World Is Waiting For You
02. Growing Up
03. Following The Rabbit
04. Alice Makes New Friends
05. The Muggies Song
06. Alice Gets a Lickin
07. Alice's New Dress
08. The Muggies Song (Reprise)
09. Alice Talks To Nature
10. Alice Is Invited To A Tea Party
11. Alice Learns You Can't Keep A Good Man Up
12. He Can't Get His Ding-a-Ling Up
13. Nympho Nurses
14. Nympho Nurses (2)
15. Alice Helps Humpty Dumpty Up
16. We Got His Ding-A-Ling Up
17. Tweedledum Is Stuck On Tweedledee
18. Tweedledee & Tweedledum's Song (Long Version)
19. What You Do On A Hot Knight In Wonderland
20. What's A Nice Girl Like You Doin' On A Knight Like This?
21. Meanwhile At The Royal Court
22. Cards Cards Cards
23. The Queen Is Coming
24. Each & Every Moment Of The Day
25. Each & Every Moment (Reprise) - Fun In Wonderland
26. Preparing Alice
27. Alice's Head
28. Alice Escapes
29. Run Alice Run
30. Alice Loses Her Innocence
31. A Whole New World Is Waiting For You (Reprise)
32. Curtain Call
33. Tweedledee & Tweedledum's Song (Short Version)
34. Fun In Wonderland (Alternate)
35. Alice's Head (Alternate)
36. Alice Loses Her Innocence (Alternate

Link to download:

The movie is also available to watch for free here:

Friday, 15 January 2010

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Tubbed by Snumble

After two very naughty things (much more serious than minor peccadilloes) I have come to the conclusion Mr. Tumble should no longer be allowed on children's television.

In a state of shock after discovering his presence at Camp Bestival this year, performing every day, I sent an email of complaint to CBBC, which I shall insert presently:

I have just discovered browsing the Camp Bestival website that Mr. Tumble will be making a reappearance there this year, every day of it in fact. Last year he put on a mediocre show that I have to say,the children enjoyed thoroughly, so I have no complaints about this. After the show however, my sister and her daughter were in the artist's "chill out" area (as our band was playing and we had the required wristbands)and they saw Mr. Tumble (although now in a leather jacket). Naturally, the child was very excited by this, and showed her enthusiasm. It was very plain that she was overjoyed to see him so close, but it was even plainer to see that Tumble SNUBBED her! I was very shocked by this fact and swiftly changed my impression of the uninspiring clown. As well as this, the child was very upset to find out the human truth, that his cold heart was faking the smile and he has no real love for children. I think it is wise that you tell Mr. "Snubbing" Tumble to learn a lesson and be more friendly to his fans before he makes his way down to Lulworth Castle. Regards, Navia

They haven't replied yet. Watch this space.

And the second peccadillo?

So Tumble has been telling all the deaf children that he is "fucking them".
What a pleasant man. But why is he still on television?

Friday, 8 January 2010

Now That's What We Pump At The Party...

We are delighted to announce the online-only, free release of a new album of covers of 1990s chartbusting, dancefloor filling smash hits, arranged for acoustic, electronic, homemade, and toy instruments, by Ergo Phizmiz & The Midnight Florists.

"Now That's What We Pump At The Party"

Following in the footsteps of the reviled, acclaimed, maimed and shamed Ergo Phizmiz & his Orchestra project (also available free), which covered the music of Aphex Twin, the entirety of the second Velvet Underground album, and a selection of 90s & noughties R & B classics for acoustic and toy instrument. This recording, however, moves on from the sound of the Orchestra project, moving into a more band-orientated sound, sounding something similar to strange manic jazz made by psychotic octogenarians on whatever instruments they could find.

For anyone with fond or hate-filled memories of such luminaries as C & C Music Factory,Dee Lite, Lou Bega, Culture Beat, or Snap, this album is for you. Hear Ergo & the Florists tear their way through "Rhythm is Dancer" like a party of wild banshees armed with ukuleles and box drums, or crawling across the bar-room Harmonium on an afterparty "Mambo No 5". Help us call "Mr Vain", complete with toy piano and the Monkton-o-phone, or simply put on your dancing shoes and begrudgingly admit that "Groove is in the Heart", which, hearts in the groove, the Midnight Florists plough through, group falsetti circling like vultures atop the corpse of that 'indestructable medium', the CD.

This album is the first release by the new musical unit The Midnight Florists. The group, on this release, is comprised of Ergo Phizmiz, The Travelling Mongoose, Monkton Wylde and Vulnavia Vanity, all of whom play all manner of instruments and contribute vocals to the release. Special mention should go to The Travelling Mongoose's newfound skills in very, very high falsetto vocals, at which he is an undisputed master.

Download, dance, and tell all your friends .....

Here be the link, on the marvellous WFMU Free Music Archive .....


In the (altered) words of the Vampire Lestat:

Vulnavia here. You know who I am? Then skip the next few paragraphs. For those whom I have not met before, I want this to be love at first sight.
Behold; your hero for the duration, a dark haired and deep eyed English male.
We have souls you and I. We want to know things; we share the same earth, rich and verdant and fraught with perils. We don't - either of us - know what it means to die, no matter what we might say on the contrary. It's a cinch that if we did, I wouldn't be writing and you wouldn't be reading this blog.
What does matter very much, as we go into this story together, is that I have set myself a task of being a hero in this world. I maintain myself morally complex, spiritually tough, and aesthetically relevant - a being of blazing insight and impact, a guy with things to say to you.
So if you read this, read it for that reason - that Vulnavia is talking again, that he is frightened, that he is searching desperately for the lesson and for the song and for the raison d'etre, that he wants to understand his own story and he wants you to understand it, and that it is the very best story he has right now to tell.
If that's not enough, read something else.